Walgreens Trip 2/6/11

YAY for getting out of the house after blizzard 2011. We went to the store last Monday in preparation for the snow which waited till later that night. And then didn't stop and didn't stop and didn't stop--it was beautiful! And it kept us home for a few days to many =). I finally got out and away from the insanity today and feel completely restored! Well, maybe not completely--dreading another late night and early morning with congested babies who feel the need to drain me dry--literally...

Look at that hardworking man!!

Thursday we received about 3 more inches on top of the 12-16 from blizzopia, but it all started to melt on Saturday just in time to refreeze and get more tonight. I've never seen snow like this. Not all at once anyway. Pretty amazing.

ANYWHO.....trying to hold down the fort and help everyone to feel better and not need a trip to the doctor, but the kids are a bit stir-crazy and we've had to be a bit inovative with PE inside. YouTube exercise videos. So far they are a hit. Especially projected up on the wall. Fun times.

Now, my outing, of course, was to a store. Walgreens, of course. And I forgot to take my $15 RR that I got last Monday. Of course. But I still made out extremely well. Spent $28 OOP and got, in 2 transactions: 6 ragu, 3 skippy peanut butter [sorry Carthage shoppers, I did leave 3 peanut butter and 2 ragu on the shelf though], 1 salt, 1 baking soda, 3 cans black olives, 5 dawn, 2 colgate, 1 box lipton tea, 2 swiffer wetjet refills, 2 packs cascade, 2 boxes magic erasers, and 2 moisturizing hand sanitizers. Came home with $13 RR, so total cost was $15. Used Coupon Teacher to print my list and plan on going back, weather and sickness permitting, to get $6.99 Scott TP and perhaps candy for Valentine's Day and Ocean Spray Juice $2.99 and get $2 RR. I should be able to use up a lot of these P&G RR on that stuff.

Weekly Wrap-Up

Trying to summarize months at a time was just too intimidating, so here is just a weekly wrap up.
MONDAY was MOPS, followed by drive thru lunch and a trip up to my sister's house [her kiddos were out of school] where we had way too short a time of cramming in the visiting and fun. Babies love love loved their soft, furry, half-grown kittens and the big girls found a few owl pellets for our bird science unit.
TUESDAY was our day 1 of the week after recovering from the 3 day weekend and clean-up, we had a bit of school done too.
WEDNESDAY was John's birthday, so we celebrated with a yummy cheesecake , but used cherry pie filling on the side instead of the gorgeous fresh strawberries.
THURSDAY was a wasted day, except for co-op. Thank goodness for our co-op teachers---my kids got art, pe, music, and science, oh, and tons of social interaction, so I guess it wasn't a wasted day, huh.
FRIDAY started out as a disappointment. Abigail was sick in the night so we were gonna have to miss the field trip to George Washington Carver, but my friend tripled her cargo and workload by adding in my 4 to her 2--thank the Lord for good friends!!! And i got to discover life with twins without my big helpers--not as devastating as I thought it would be, but I also got them to nap at the same time which is HIGHLY unusual, but let me mop the kitchen and feel good about that!!!
Now I get to blog and plan our grocery shopping for tomorrow--looking forward to some much needed hubby time and family time---hoping everyone stays healthy *shrug*.

We did read about a Chinese Empress and Beowolf as well as make plans for a pagoda birdhouse to build next week out of paper cups/plates/bowls.........behind on grading and lesson planning without 'my' computer, but still optimistic about next week-it will be better than this one...I hope....even if we have to make it thru a stomach bug.......God will provide the strength, willpower, and patience.......
Trying to enjoy each day,
Just me..........

Papa's Train

Well, it's been a year since my FIL died. Long year. His brothers had planned a 60th birthday get together with their trail riding buddies and everyone. He was going to be too sick to go and he ended up passing away 4 days before he would've been 60. We decided this gettogether should probably be an annual event. This year's "Spring Gathering" isn't looking too springy, but we headed out there for a few hours anyway. John's trying out a new tent and the kids and I are here in a nice comfy house--albeit quiet and townlike--no coyotes howling or wind either. The kids opted for sleeping bags around the floor of our bed. I forewarned John in case he headed home out of the storms in the dead of night........I keep checking the radar which shows rain as of right now, although the ice and snow could still arrive before dawn.

A few years ago, Papa built a train. Yes, one of those homemade little trains with actual 'cars'--it was the greatest invention EVER according to several little grandkids. It was actually quite inventive--made from dollies and big blue drums/barrells and pulled by whatever was running [lil tractor, lawn mower]....and of course, a caboose--can't forget the caboose--a desk chair attached by a rope to the last car--this was for a brave adult who could yell at kids to sit down and not jump ship....errr...train while it was moving. The train made several improvements over time, although my rear preferred to not ride and get so jostled it ached. Papa took the grandkids on quite the adventures though. Every Sunday or so, we gathered at Nanny and Papa's house--sent the kids outside if it was nice enough, and took it easy. I wish I would've ventured outside more and got to see what our kids saw, but at least they were happily building memories [and clubs and forts and whatever else they could think of]. Papa took them on a train ride thru the redwood forests, jungles, and who knows where else!! It is up for debate among a few where each of these great destinations are now. Perhaps they went to Heaven with Papa.........
The train. Yes, the train. Luke was not even 2 a year ago, but he associates his great idol Papa with the train. Papa lit up Luke's life. His eyes would sparkle and shine when Papa entered the room. Of course, part of this could have been the giant candy jar that papa always got down. Luke sure loved his suckers =).
Tonight, the train, of course, was out. It now has an actual engine and no caboose ~lol~ thanks to various church events and creative family members. Luke missed the rides and was sorely disappointed, so that when it was time for us to leave, I thought for sure I couldn't stop his tears. I explained that we could ride the train at Nanny's house sometime. He was comforted for a bit and then i realized why. "yeah," he said with an L, like lah, "we could ride it at Nanny's and Papa could drive it." oh, my heart wanted to stop. I stooped to explain that, no, remember? Papa died--a statement he himself had made upon arrival at the Baugh Ranch. "oh."
John decided he could drive that train around in the dark just once........and the smiles and laughter radiating from this one little boy? totally worth it.........
ahhhh.....one long year.......so many regrets. I try not to regret, but I regret not trying to preserve and remember....i wish SOOO badly that our kids could ALWAYS remember. He meant soooo much to them!!!

First Christmas

Sunday night, December 20th after church


Sock Monkeys!!
~Christmas morning~

More Pics

Elizabeth Grace at 5 wks

Abigail Marie at 5 wks

Numbers

BABIES
Age:
1 month and 2 days
Weight:
Abigail has gained 12 oz in 2 weeks ~ up to 7 lbs 5 oz!!
Elizabeth has gained even more!! 7 lbs 14 oz!!!!!!!!! She is quite the little Hoover when it comes to nursing--none of that lollygagging around like "little" sister.
Length:
They were both a bit over 21 inches.
Size:
Still in newborn clothing, barely--able to wear some 0-3 month items--preemie is TOO small now.....moving to size 1 diapers in less than a week...

SLEEP
I can occasionally get 4 hours of sleep simultaneously!! and it feels TREMENDOUS!

DIAPERS
We used 540 diapers this first month....that is around 9 diapers/day/baby. Considering their weight, it looks like they will soon be in size 1 diapers! We have around 1000 of them stocked up, so MAYBE we won't be having to run to the store till after the New Year?!?

ME
Despite some people worrying about my "skinnyness" {haha!!}, I am amazingly healthy--and I have lost 35 of the 50 pounds I had gained and able to comfortably button size 16 jeans!!! Considering at least 13 lbs was lost when the babies were born, I am doing JUST fine!

NURSING
about every 2 hours for 20-45 minutes, sometimes more, sometimes less......that's "on demand" for my babies!!

SCHOOL
We are currently in week 11 of 42 scheduled [including breaks]. Caught up and wondering how much of a holiday break should really be taken...

What I have learned, part 1

1. Nursing one baby while pumping on the other side is NOTHING compared to nursing two babies.

2. Nursing two is NOTHING compared to rotating two babies and a breast pump.

3. Some people have no problem coming to see babies, even while hacking, coughing, sneezing, or throwing up is going on in their family.

4. Even more people don't want to interrupt our day, so they stay away----for a week----then everyone shows up!!!!

5. It is SO nice to have friends.

6. It's even nicer to have family.

7. Family holds no candle to church family.

8. I miss being in church.

9. H1N1 is all over and it makes people panic.

10. A full day of school is NOT going to happen for awhile.

11. Let my 6yo son take a break from his school and he forgets everything :)

12. Housework while homeschooling and taking care of 4 children is difficult.

13. Housework while homeschooling and taking care of 6 children, including newborn twins is just not important..........to me.........except that my dh cares.......so I try.

14. I really miss my house husband/Mr. Mom since he has gone back to work. :( And not just for what he does for me, our kids, and the house, but just so you know, he has been an awesome help around here!!

Welcome!!!

Abigail Marie
10-8-09
1:08pm

6 lbs. 3 oz.

18 inches
lots of DARK hair and a dark complexion; arrived in one contraction, one expletive, a yell, and 3 pushes total

Elizabeth Grace
10-8-09
1:24pm
6 lbs. 6 oz.
20 inches
a little blonde hair and nearly invisible eyelashes and eyebrows with a paler complexion; arrived with doctor's help after a quick ultrasound in two contractions, 4 pushes with much more groaning and a couple yells {no expletives}

Praise God! They arrived via natural vaginal delivery at St. John's in an OR room. It was a relatively "easy" labor--steady contractions started at 5:30 am and we arrived at the hospital about 9/10 or so. My "A" water was broken after noon I believe {details are a bit fuzzy} and I was wheeled into the OR. Babies both look great--scored 9s on their apgars and although they lost quite a bit of weight, are gaining it back now. We went to the dr. yesterday {5 days old} and Abigail weighed in at 5lbs 11oz and Elizabeth weighed 6 lbs even.
My recovery is a bit more slow. I started hemmorhaging Thursday night into Friday morning, losing lots of blood and having a lot of clotting--a nurse helped get rid of these by basically putting me thru labor again with another round of pitocin drip and then pushing on my belly till I yelled and delivered what felt like another baby just about. My hemoglobins tested fine that night, but I was still dizzy and weak with ringing in my ears and incoherent thoughts on Friday. the blood tests came back down at a 6.6 from a 9 on Friday, so I received 2 units of blood {and had been on IV fluids also}. We came home Saturday night and are recovering fairly nicely, although double the pleasure, double the work is all so true.......no more time, but I wanted to let the world know of my blessed arrival {the day before my 30th birthday, btw!!}.....

"Baby Cleaning"

Last spring, I mentioned our "baby cleaning" as comparable to others' spring cleaning......well, we're still plugging away [thanks to the help from many friends!]......and for those of you who do keep their house spotless and have a wonderful cleaning schedule [or a maid?], I applaud you!! That is NOT me [as recently witnessed by many more people than I am completely comfortable with]!!
We have rearranged rooms and are on the last stage of getting the nursery ready and organized. In fact, the full sized crib just got completely put together last night [as well as our new dbl stroller! What a great hubby!! Better late than never!!!] and the crib is ready for the sheets that are coming out of the dryer sometime this afternoon. Our porta-crib is getting a makeover with the foam being recovered by a lady willing to take in all my sewing projects *LOL*. We happened to have most of a vinyl tablecloth that I had gotten originally to recover our dining room chairs and she'll use it to make the foam waterproof again {YAY!!}. She is also fixing some blankets that have the binding coming off and an OLD Strawberry Shortcake blanket of mine [yes, mine!] is getting a makeover as well [my request is just to have her fold it in 4ths and bind the edges, making a good baby blankie for the floor]. I am awaiting a pattern to come in at Joann's Fabrics for covers for the carseats and have already picked out a couple fabrics i really like and think will coordinate well with each other and the stroller---Pink Paisley and Violet Paisley. they are dark enough to not shout "stain me!" and still be girly and pretty. I loved all the pink and brown stuff, but there were NO coordinating fabrics in the store that weren't mostly white. These are the SAME patterns, just in different colors. I believe I could even get green or yellow in the same pattern! No matter, I will be getting extra fabric to also help recover an old swing and various other projects. I'm so happy to be able to rely on a 'seamstress' that won't charge me an arm and a leg, but I am happy to give her business to help support her and her family.
Back to the cleaning........I am majorly lacking in the strength, ability, and endurance areas, so slow going is all we got! I will ever be grateful for the friends that have come in to help [and motivate]. There is no way our laundry would be getting done, the baby clothes be on the shelves and even our pots and pans cleaned [even if the counter is still cluttered!].
I hope having places for things will make it easier for dh and others that come in after the babies come [and for me and the kids as well]. Most concerning? Probably the lack of ability for anyone else to use the washing machine or dishwasher without me *LOL*...... The older 2 kids understand the dishwasher, but the soap and fabric softener/vinegar for the washing machine get confusing for them [and anyone else that comes in and sees my variety of products!!]. does anyone else water down their fabric softener?!? It works just as well when it is 1/2 and 1/2 and the vinegar rinse? I usually use it and only the fabric softener on stuff I want extra soft or smelling extra good. I also tear the dryer sheets into 1/4s or 1/6s in the summer--we'll go down to 1/2s for fall and maybe have to use full ones for winter to cut back on the static. Yeah--I'm probably over the top frugal, but it works!!! It just confuses anyone else ;> and my dh hasn't tried to load the dishwasher since it was installed, but I'm hoping the kids can continue that chore without him as long as he can step up to other tasks.......and that list keeps growing..... we now need a new flusher on the downstairs toilet [the "chain" on the inside isn't metal, but plastic, so there was no 'repair with paperclips' or something].........and I'm really hoping the sectional missing the hide-away-bed gets a board in it so company won't get lost when they sit down.....you know, all the little things *LOL*

Pregnancy Update week 34

Went to the OB this morning for my now-weekly visit. She will be out of town--no, actually, out of the COUNTRY from the 11th till the 24th, so I am supposed to let the babies know that :)LOL....and in the meantime, I will see her associate the next 2 Fridays.....
Gained 3 lbs this week--which is good. My belly measured at 39, and I am truly proud of myself because I was pretty sure a couple days ago both babies turned head down and my OB agrees!! I went from feeling kicked/punched by someone {Abigail?} WAY down low all over to feeling like I had toes in my ribs and greater pressure down low.......
My bp and urine still both look great. I am just a tad bit dialated and starting to thin, although it is still quite thick and high. She did confirm our suspicions of Abigail being head down when she checked my cervix also----she felt her head, which means that she may not turn again if she has lowered this much. YAY!!

Time to kick it into gear and pack bags, I guess. I'm kinda figuring we may have 3 weeks more but maybe not--it's so hard to guess!! And I don't want to make myself impatient if we go the whole 6 weeks more either!!

Ultrasound Pictures 8/26 and pregnancy update

Had a long afternoon yesterday with ultrasound and OB appt. I was so thankful to have the company of my dh though--it was nice to be out alone with him--almost like a date ~LOL~ a cheap date~ and knowing the kids were having so much fun playing with cousins and not napping :)
The ultrasound tech is also expecting and we've had many a good talks with her. Very neat to have real conversations with real people and since we see her every month or so, it is more than just a service she is providing.....

She was able to capture a good 3D image of Elizabeth with her leg in front of her face. See her cushy face and round nose? Looks like she has plenty of fat deposits already :)

She measured about 4 lbs 6 oz and very active still.

I just love baby feet--and we were able to get several good pics of their feet...together and apart. This one isn't the best, but it's both of them--kicking me down low :) YES--they are both breech right now. I was proud of myself because I knew this before going in. If it lasts more than a couple days, I'm probably gonna be panicking, but they are still so active that they could be 5 different positions before they settle down to come out in another month or so (crossing fingers). Just one of them turning is like a huge volcano bubbling. There is no real description with words--it's such a huge discomfort and UGHH....and then the 2nd one usually follows soon after.....

I tried to upload a video of baby B "Elizabeth" holding her toes momentarily and then letting go. It was adorable to see. but you'll have to settle for just her little foot--you can barely trace out her fingers below the toes. Apparently she's gonna be one that needs her toesies free to play with :)

We did get some cute pics of Abigail {Baby A} also, but she was more crunched up it seemed and not as easy to see and measure. She measured about 4 lbs even. You can see the front of her scrunched up face in this pic.

Here is Abigail's profile--see her little round nose also? SOO sweet to see my baby girls!! It is helping me to bond way before I ever did with any others. It's like they are just a foreign presence making me uncomfortable until i get to hold them, feed them, touch them, etc. Of course, this unexpected bonding also brings more worry--the what-ifs tend to creep in occasionnally and I just have to pray...

The OB appt. went well. We were ahead of schedule everywhere we went, starting with dropping the kids off :) A sure sign that dh was in charge and not me!! I was about 32 weeks 5 days and measured about 36 weeks. Strong heartbeats--ultrasound measured 139 and OB measured 140s. My bp is still looking great. I weighed in at 178lbs. I got a lot of questions answered and need to go ahead and make a call to our pediatrician to give him a heads up and discuss his take on when they need NICU, etc. Neither our OB nor our ped {he's actually our family doc} goes to the neighboring hospital with a NICU, so we're REALLY hoping it is avoided--although I enjoyed a nice tour of the NICU and was pleasantly surprised at how homey and inviting the atmosphere was. Our hospital choice--the one without a NICU--the birthing center at St. Johns lets the babies room in with you and you do not have to change rooms for labor, delivery, recovery, etc. They are also bigger rooms, making plenty of room for the older kids to come see us and visit. Siblings are able to come in and I believe other children must be 12+. It is a secured area and no one gets in the doors without clearance. Our other 4 kids were delivered here (although our oldest came before it was a birthing center and we DID have to change rooms, etc.).

Pregnancy Update

I know--I'm a bit behind on an update. I had an OB visit Wed. 12th and there aren't a lot of things to report. I had only gained 2 pounds in 2 weeks. I am 31 gestational weeks, still only measuring about 35. Both girls were active that day but heartbeats were in the 140-150s. My bp was perfectly normal and swelling really only occurs in the heat. The nurse asked if dh was helping out folding laundry, cooking, etc. and I tried REALLY hard not to laugh. Yes--he sometime grills on the weekend. And I have friends coming every once in a while to help with other household stuff. She encouraged me to get more help *smile*. I've been having more of the braxton hicks contractions but unless anything happens, I'll go back in 2 weeks for ultrasound AND the OB appt. After that--every week.......
The OB was more concerned about nutrition. She gave me a prescription for folic acid, said to take a stool softener if needed and make sure to take my vitamins and get in as much nutrients as possible....hmmm....I'm hungry all the time--sure--but not for what is in my fridge and cabinets......or for anything that has to be FIXED ~LOL~ The free chicken club I had from Arby's Wed. has been on my mind A LOT. So has a 1/3lb cheeseburger from Braum's.......and lemon chicken from Bamboo Garden........and.....well, I better quit now before I think I'm starving!!

Also, I opened a registry at www.babiesrus.com and hope to add more to it. I may open a Target one also. They both offer 10% off anything left on the registry at the due date, so that was a major motivator!!

when the cat's away

I guess the saying is "when the cat's away, the mice will play".
Do your kids do this? Leave the room and the schoolwork is forgotten? Rules are forgotten? Knowing mom isn't there, you decide you CAN and SHOULD go ahead and poke sister with the pencil?!? Or just sit and doodle?!?
Just wondering--mine tend to, which makes it fairly difficult to accomplish anything anywhere BUT the school room when they are doing school.
We're working on that though---if I have one follow me around while reading to me or me quizzing them, the other tends to still continue working somewhat while left behind.

Now--what about when dh is away? We don't exactly play, but we sure are more lazy!! No reason to have it ALL cleaned by 5pm every day. No reason to have more than a baked potato for dinner. No reason to......well, you get my drift. Then comes the countdown--Daddy's coming home today!! Let's clean!!! Better catch up on the shopping (he'll need bread for sandwich lunches next week!)!!

My dh doesn't travel much anymore, but he was gone on a Missions Trip with our church this week--not far, just down to OK where the headquarters of Voice of the Martyrs is. He'll be tired when he gets home on Saturday and there is always an adjustment period for everyone, but OOOH how excited the kids and I will be to see him!!!! I told him he better not look at my belly first thing and just go WOW--although it will be nice to see if he really does notice a difference. Living with the growing day-to-day, it's not so noticeable sometimes.

Just me................filling in the void of a lonely Friday night by blogging...........

Ultrasound Pictures 7/23

Neither girl was overly cooperative during Thursday's ultrasound. By the end, they both ended up being transverse (sideways), at first facing one another's bottom sides, then both facing down, so baby A's bottom was in Baby B's face :) not really since there is a membrane between them, but that's the idea. A's head was on my right side down at the bottom of the uterus and B's head was on my left side, a bit higher. It seems like they may have more room this way, but I sure hope that at least A's head will head south when the time comes. I was, however, enjoying not getting kicked and prodded in the lower regions for a change.

Ultrasound #3 at 28 weeks

above, Abigail, weighing 2 lbs. 7 oz.

above, Elizabeth, weighing 2 lbs. 8 oz.

This is a sideways pic of the whole uterus, top to bottom (left to right). You can see Elizabeth's head area on top, then an umbilical cord and Abigail's body/bottom and then comes my bladder and cervix.

I go back to see my OB next Thursday again.

The Spirit at work

as in the HOLY Spirit.......
I didn't share the awesome results of our Vacation Bible School and now it seems pretty necessary...
For a church that avgs <100 in Sunday School, having 145 kids and 77 helpers on our biggest night was just huge!! There were 6 that responded to the lessons/msgs, heard the Spirit's call and were saved during the week. THEN, Sunday morning the sanctuary was packed for the program and 2 more little girls went fwd......
Last night, our little 6yo J came to me, a bit teary-eyed and said "I asked God into my heart so I could be a Christian". I didn't want to be too overjoyed because he's "asked Jesus to come into his heart" before with no real understanding of sin, forgiveness, etc., it was just cause that was the right thing.......WELL......he completely gets it now. Turns out, he had read thru the little send-home pamphlet from VBS about "How to Become a Child of God"--he understood it all and knew that he needed to take that step......PRAISE GOD!!!
It looks like he will go fwd and share this with the church Sunday morning and there will be a baptismal service sometime soon......

Harvest Time

In this part of the country, it is harvest time--more specifically for the farmers, wheat harvest. My dh works on a farm and has helped them with their 600 acres of wheat--his first experience of "the harvest". His job? Hauling the large bales of straw. Before you start to feel sorry for him in this early-in-coming-dog-days-of-summer-99degree-SW-MO-weather, he has air-conditioning and is only out in the heat when he's running between the truck or tractor or dumping the bales :) He has been putting in some LONG 12-14+ hour days though and it will be a relief [somewhat *LOL*] when he makes it home before dinner sometime soon.

Bigger news?!? It's also time to be out blueberry picking!! And even though we haven't braved the heat and prices, I would so love to stock up my freezer with this yummy fruit!

We have had nice friends share some bags of the sweet blue good-for-you treats and I decided we could have some blueberry pancakes this morning. We usually just have cold cereal, but once every couple of weeks, I'll try to do pancakes (sometimes it's cause we're out of milk). Well, I've been looking up different recipes for pancakes and trying to find the easiest to do and this time, I googled "easy blueberry pancakes". And, although I doubted the ease of this recipe, my girls and I found it easy enough to do (and I didn't HAVE to dbl the recipe like usual, although I could have). While my 8yo is beating the egg whites, continually asking if they are "stiff "yet (how am I supposed to know--I hadn't a clue!!), I am mixing up the dry ingredients [I don't "sift" either, just stir] and stumbling over the 3yo with the best intentions of helping also. Thankfully, my boys are later sleepers, so I didn't have TOO much help in the kitchen. My 3yo DID get to add the frozen blueberries and have the first plate of yummy pancakes.

Our review of this recipe?

**** 4 stars!! ALL 4 kids say it is a "keeper" and would be good even without the blueberries. I had to agree after I finally was able to take my first bite also. I did have 3 dirty bowls from preparation instead of just 1, but it may have been worth it for the excellent taste--and whatever "stiff egg whites" even DO for a recipe, I think as long as I have an extra set of hands to do that job, it must be worth it!

ALSO--this would be great if you didn't have syrup (although we did) because the yummy blueberry juice gets spread out and fairly syrupy on its own. It may be tart without the syrup though, depending on the sweetness of your berries.
AND--for a finger food? Maybe after the blueberries have cooled. IMO--Too messy to be picked up and eaten if it has berries in it (unless there are just 1 or 2). I used to do this with regular pancakes before my 2yo knew what syrup was and I didn't want a messy boy to clean up, but today he had a bath after breakfast :)

The only complaint?

"OUCH! That blueberry squirted on me and it burned me(my tongue, my mouth, my lips, etc)!" No real burns, there were smiles on their faces as they shared these apparently wonderful complaints.

My road to no birth-control.....

Here's my personal experience (REMEMBER--JUST ME!!) on the road to no birth-control.......[beware--may be TMI and for an adult audience!!]

When dh and I got engaged, I made an appt. with a GYN for my first check-up and to get on the pill since I'd heard it was the best in preventing pregnancy. I had my qualms about it, but pushed them aside because I did NOT want to have a baby right away! I was 19 years old and, unbeknownst to me, very selfish :) DH-to-be went with me to that first appt. and we watched a video about how the pill works (well, how any hormonal birth control works, really). I vividly remember the part where they state, "if the sperm and egg DO join together [on accident], they may be expelled" along with the fluid during the next cycle......I'd heard that and I knew what that meant. I am against abortion at any level and this was, to me, saying that it would abort your baby before you know about it. BUT, I pushed that feeling aside, knowing that the pill was widely accepted in churches and surely it would be okay--God didn't want me to be a pregnant newlywed, right?!?! LOL
Well, 8 months into the marriage, I was apparently an irresponsible pill taker and when I missed a couple, I was scared what might happen if I was pregnant and I continued taking them--THUS, baby #1. We were overjoyed!! I was pregnant for our first anniversary, quit college [and work] the following fall and she completely consumed my life when she was born January 2001. I was 21.
After dd#1, we didn't go back on the pill 1st cause I was breastfeeding, 2nd because of previous stated reasons. So, in come barrier methods [i.e. condoms]. We thought this much better since it didn't mess with my hormones and didn't expel any unwanted joint eggs and sperm--the spermicide just killed the sperm and blocked it from reaching my eggs......
Then, as I'm still breastfeeding, here came baby #2. I was quite unprepared and so wrapped up with my dd, that it took some time to get used to ds, born September 2002 when dd was 20 months old.
Back on the barrier methods for us--I was ADAMENT that I needed a bigger gap and made sure to always use some sort of pregnancy prevention for almost the next 2 years. In July 2004, we stopped using any sort of birth control. Our marriage was rocky and unstable though, and it was 6 months before I became pregnant. Baby #3 was born August 2005, into a restored marriage, thank the Lord!!
We started wondering what we would do for birth control next and decided to use withdrawal. This was not killing the sperm, just, again, preventing them from reaching the eggs, but we would also occasionnally use a barrier (foam or condom). WELL--here came baby #4 when #3 was 22 months old in June 2007. YAY!!
We continued to use withdrawal, but no more barriers for us. I still struggled with having more and more babies, knowing that I was not even 29 and the possibilities of having 10-15+ kids was overwhelming!! I PRAYED to God and CALLED upon Him to PLEASE give me another gap--maybe 5 years this time?!? *LOL* Then, I was convicted that we shouldn't turn over partial control to Him, but ALL control. My dh was more sure about that than I was (he's not the one suffering thru the physical pain of pregnancy or staying home and teaching them, right?!? haha). But I was overwhelmed with peace when around December 2008 I completely surrendered to God's control--no more birth control of any kind--natural, hormonal, or whatever. Well, you know my story from there! Babies #5 and #6 are on the way!! And, amazingly, as much as I don't feel like I have life together, I have peace. I have a bit of turmoil when I wonder God's plan after these girls, but I have peace in knowing what God has laid on my heart for the now and in following Him now.........
And to realize that we are being "fruitful" and "multiplying" God's Kingdom is also amazing. The Church is not just dying out because of lack of convictions and strength, the church has accepted the world's standards of abortion and taking control away from God! Not us. We are trying to follow His will for OUR lives and I pray you do the same, listening to His will for YOU........this is just me and my story.............

life lately....

At a calendar measurement of 23 weeks gestation, my belly is measuring 26 weeks. I had a dr. appt. Friday, June 19th and have gained a total of 13 pounds so far. I was a little concerned about not gaining enough for twins since I gained a total of 50# with each of my singletons, but my dr. kindly reminded me that I have plenty of time and the gaining will start picking up soon :) I do need to make sure and eat as much as I can now because there will be a time when there will be little room left for food ;)
Everything with the pregnancy looks good--no causes for concern at this time and no plans for bedrest, early labor etc......just waiting and seeing!!!
Apparently, I am a spectacle for others to gawk at already--especially when I have all 4 kids in tow. I know it shouldn't matter what others are thinking about me, but I feel very judged--like I'm the white trash mom who just keeps on having babies, instead of the mom following God's will for her life and trying to raise godly children. THEN, there's the twin thing--I really can't find much support for someone who homeschools, has twins on the way and will be a soon to be mom of 6 under age 9. SOOOO, I'm not trying anymore--those that just don't "get" the big family thing are not helpful and, although we run into them at church, the store, family gatherings, the pool, park, or library, or wherever, I'm trying to NOT surround myself with those ideas. It's hard enough to struggle on and not feel like I'm failing--I don't need the negativity breeding from the naysayers.......yet, I also feel like it is partly my job to educate people. Do I think God has called everyone to say no to birth control? Or has God called all Christians to homeschool? Or be a stay at home mom? WOW--those are some hot topics! But it is not my job to judge what God lays on anyone else's heart. Just because I am called, does not mean someone else is........ Saying that, I do believe that staying at home with my children, although very challenging, is the best way to "train up our children" and homeschooling is the best way to teach them with God in the center of our family. Now--birth control is a never ending issue with me and God. Basically, I have turned over all control to God, but whether or not we ever use any natural or artificial birth control again is up for question......we probably won't, which means we probably aren't done having children either. Irresponsible? No. Sane? Yes, although it may not seem like it (or feel like it at times). It's absent of today's "common sense" and we are definitely going against the flow of two-household incomes and 2.5 children, starting after you are 30yo.............just me............