Here's my personal experience (REMEMBER--JUST ME!!) on the road to no birth-control.......[beware--may be TMI and for an adult audience!!]
When dh and I got engaged, I made an appt. with a GYN for my first check-up and to get on the pill since I'd heard it was the best in preventing pregnancy. I had my qualms about it, but pushed them aside because I did NOT want to have a baby right away! I was 19 years old and, unbeknownst to me, very selfish :) DH-to-be went with me to that first appt. and we watched a video about how the pill works (well, how any hormonal birth control works, really). I vividly remember the part where they state, "if the sperm and egg DO join together [on accident], they may be expelled" along with the fluid during the next cycle......I'd heard that and I knew what that meant. I am against abortion at any level and this was, to me, saying that it would abort your baby before you know about it. BUT, I pushed that feeling aside, knowing that the pill was widely accepted in churches and surely it would be okay--God didn't want me to be a pregnant newlywed, right?!?! LOL
Well, 8 months into the marriage, I was apparently an irresponsible pill taker and when I missed a couple, I was scared what might happen if I was pregnant and I continued taking them--THUS, baby #1. We were overjoyed!! I was pregnant for our first anniversary, quit college [and work] the following fall and she completely consumed my life when she was born January 2001. I was 21.
After dd#1, we didn't go back on the pill 1st cause I was breastfeeding, 2nd because of previous stated reasons. So, in come barrier methods [i.e. condoms]. We thought this much better since it didn't mess with my hormones and didn't expel any unwanted joint eggs and sperm--the spermicide just killed the sperm and blocked it from reaching my eggs......
Then, as I'm still breastfeeding, here came baby #2. I was quite unprepared and so wrapped up with my dd, that it took some time to get used to ds, born September 2002 when dd was 20 months old.
Back on the barrier methods for us--I was ADAMENT that I needed a bigger gap and made sure to always use some sort of pregnancy prevention for almost the next 2 years. In July 2004, we stopped using any sort of birth control. Our marriage was rocky and unstable though, and it was 6 months before I became pregnant. Baby #3 was born August 2005, into a restored marriage, thank the Lord!!
We started wondering what we would do for birth control next and decided to use withdrawal. This was not killing the sperm, just, again, preventing them from reaching the eggs, but we would also occasionnally use a barrier (foam or condom). WELL--here came baby #4 when #3 was 22 months old in June 2007. YAY!!
We continued to use withdrawal, but no more barriers for us. I still struggled with having more and more babies, knowing that I was not even 29 and the possibilities of having 10-15+ kids was overwhelming!! I PRAYED to God and CALLED upon Him to PLEASE give me another gap--maybe 5 years this time?!? *LOL* Then, I was convicted that we shouldn't turn over partial control to Him, but ALL control. My dh was more sure about that than I was (he's not the one suffering thru the physical pain of pregnancy or staying home and teaching them, right?!? haha). But I was overwhelmed with peace when around December 2008 I completely surrendered to God's control--no more birth control of any kind--natural, hormonal, or whatever. Well, you know my story from there! Babies #5 and #6 are on the way!! And, amazingly, as much as I don't feel like I have life together, I have peace. I have a bit of turmoil when I wonder God's plan after these girls, but I have peace in knowing what God has laid on my heart for the now and in following Him now.........
And to realize that we are being "fruitful" and "multiplying" God's Kingdom is also amazing. The Church is not just dying out because of lack of convictions and strength, the church has accepted the world's standards of abortion and taking control away from God! Not us. We are trying to follow His will for OUR lives and I pray you do the same, listening to His will for YOU........this is just me and my story.............
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(I typed this once and blogger ate it! LOL!)
ReplyDeleteI can tell that your blog is going to be such a blessing to me. I feel the same way you do. During a time of turmoil I signed the papers and had a tubal ligation. There is not a day thats gone by that I dont regret my decision. I am going to get a reversal and I pray to God that he will bless us with more children, if that is his will. I am so glad you found my blog and I, in turn, yours.
Heather--Your blog was such a blessing to me last night as I was searching for some encouragement. Glad to have found you on twinstuff forums! Looking fwd to getting to "know" you!
ReplyDeleteYou can email me at baughschool@yahoo.com anytime!
Oh, bother---hope the little google ads on my sidebars don't offend anyone! They go along with my topics and I should've apparently not written out the word condom [that's the only thing coming to mind that would set off a possibly pornographic ad link, but mostly singles and dating stuff, I see!!]....but they change constantly, so hopefully they won't be overly offensive.....
ReplyDeleteI am so looking for a hit sexy guy from a google ad. LOL!
ReplyDeletehit=hot lol
ReplyDelete*ROFL*
ReplyDeleteI saw that you now follow my blog and came by to check your's out. I love reading other stories of large families that have let God have control over size. We also have our own story of how we were led to give up control over it. Though we had toyed with the idea after #3 it wasn't until I ended up with a very surprise, ill timed pregnancy and dh made an appt to get a vasectomy that it all began to unfold. I began to bleed heavily and we assumed I had miscarried. After 3 weeks of it I had an emergency u/s and we found there were 2 sweet babies!!! We were so exceedingly blessed by this and knew that God was indeed in control that we began to talk much more seriously. But even after their birth I again went back on the pill. 9 months later I was pregnant again but we were overjoyed. It was only days after the birth of him that we both gave it over together completely. That's a very condensed version but I love hearing stories of how others arrived at that same point. When he was a mere 5 months old we were again pregnant and baby #6 was born only 14 months later. When he was barely 6 months we were again pregnant with #8. So, due to birth control our 1st 3 are all 2 1/2 years apart. Then they went to 18 months apart and then on down to 14 and 15 months apart! My husband teases it wasn't a good trend to get started. She is now 7 months old and I'm still not pregnant. It's funny how you just come to expect it and look forward to it and are then disappointed that you are not! We very much love our life with many children. Our twins made #4 and 5 for us. Congrats on your baby girls!!! There is nothing in the world like having twins and many children. I love watching them interact and grow together. It is such an amazing journey for our family. And nothing compares to the joys and chaos of a house filled with children! It is such a gift.
ReplyDeleteGreat to hear such an uplifting story, Nikki! THANKS!!!
ReplyDeleteThis is an awesome testimony! Thanks for sharing! I have to tease you though... all that time you were trying NOT to have babies one way or another, and then you stop trying and end up with TWINS! Just imagine if you'd started out this way... ;)
ReplyDeleteI'm only joking though. God has His plan and no barrier can stop it!!