At a calendar measurement of 23 weeks gestation, my belly is measuring 26 weeks. I had a dr. appt. Friday, June 19th and have gained a total of 13 pounds so far. I was a little concerned about not gaining enough for twins since I gained a total of 50# with each of my singletons, but my dr. kindly reminded me that I have plenty of time and the gaining will start picking up soon :) I do need to make sure and eat as much as I can now because there will be a time when there will be little room left for food ;)
Everything with the pregnancy looks good--no causes for concern at this time and no plans for bedrest, early labor etc......just waiting and seeing!!!
Apparently, I am a spectacle for others to gawk at already--especially when I have all 4 kids in tow. I know it shouldn't matter what others are thinking about me, but I feel very judged--like I'm the white trash mom who just keeps on having babies, instead of the mom following God's will for her life and trying to raise godly children. THEN, there's the twin thing--I really can't find much support for someone who homeschools, has twins on the way and will be a soon to be mom of 6 under age 9. SOOOO, I'm not trying anymore--those that just don't "get" the big family thing are not helpful and, although we run into them at church, the store, family gatherings, the pool, park, or library, or wherever, I'm trying to NOT surround myself with those ideas. It's hard enough to struggle on and not feel like I'm failing--I don't need the negativity breeding from the naysayers.......yet, I also feel like it is partly my job to educate people. Do I think God has called everyone to say no to birth control? Or has God called all Christians to homeschool? Or be a stay at home mom? WOW--those are some hot topics! But it is not my job to judge what God lays on anyone else's heart. Just because I am called, does not mean someone else is........ Saying that, I do believe that staying at home with my children, although very challenging, is the best way to "train up our children" and homeschooling is the best way to teach them with God in the center of our family. Now--birth control is a never ending issue with me and God. Basically, I have turned over all control to God, but whether or not we ever use any natural or artificial birth control again is up for question......we probably won't, which means we probably aren't done having children either. Irresponsible? No. Sane? Yes, although it may not seem like it (or feel like it at times). It's absent of today's "common sense" and we are definitely going against the flow of two-household incomes and 2.5 children, starting after you are 30yo.............just me............
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We have 4 kids and I can't have any more so I feel so sad seeing other pregnant bellies when that's what I'd like. I'm also so happy to see people having lots of children. Not only are each a wonderful challenge, they are God's gift to us. God took my ability to have kids (naturally - we will try to adopt) and He may do that to you one day too. If so, you'll probably wish you could have more kids, even if you already have 15! ;)
ReplyDeleteI've been praying for you~!
ReplyDeleteI definitely know those stares of the "why do you have so many children" people. It's uncomfortable, but you know what I say when they say, "Wow, you have your hands full." I say, "I wouldn't have it any other way."
As long as you have peace in your heart and in your family life, that's all that matters~!
Can we be best friends? Seriously? I have NEVER met someone called to all the things I am called to!
ReplyDeleteWOW--never thought I'd get so many comments on my venting (2 other emails from friends besides these 3 here)!! I also didn't realize how hormonal I was getting :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the encouragement, everyone!
And *LOL* yes, Heather, I'd love to be your friend!! The more the merrier--I thrive on the support of like-minded friends, yet, there just aren't that many women out there with the same convictions!